Shirley Valk
Shirley Valk, LMSW, ACSW received her bachelor degree in Organizational Leadership from Cornerstone University, Grand Rapids, Michigan and her Masters of Social Work from Grand Valley State University, Allendale, Michigan.
Shirley is a licensed clinical social worker with a variety of experiences helping people through difficulties of life. Her professional training, own life experiences, and God-given passions have prepared her with the heart and expertise to effectively assist people through the journey of changes that will enable them to live their lives more fully with greater meaning. Shirley is a skillful counselor providing services to adult individuals and couples for a variety of concerns: relationship difficulty, self-esteem, sexual betrayal, marriage distress, marital infidelity, divorce recovery, blended family, abuse, grief, anxiety, and depression. Her particular interest is working with individuals and couples experiencing some form of infidelity in their marriage. She also brings ingenuity in helping women who have been in a significant romantic relationship with a homosexual man. Shirley leads therapy groups with women whose husband had an affair or involvement with pornography. As an experienced motivational speaker, her message offers hope and a future from a biblical perspective. |
Shirley Valk, LMSW, ACSW
For additional information you can reference Shirley's Professional Bio here at Psychology Today.
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Shirley's Story
My life was a tangled chaotic mess for years. I lived in a 22 year marriage with a man who was continually involved in sexual relationships with numerous others. I was married for a lifetime, which left me believing I was trapped. When I would confront him with my suspicions of his infidelity, I had no proof other than twice, he would convince me I was crazy for thinking such terrible things. He would not admit unless he was caught “red-handed”.
My self-esteem was very low. I found I trusted him more than myself, resulting in me feeling anxious most of the time. I believed I had to be the one to hold our marriage and our family together. I thought I was responsible for the happiness of each person in my life. I worked hard to be “nice” but inside I was dying and angry at everyone and everything. I couldn’t let myself feel because I would crumble under the weight of how bad I felt. My life seemed out of control, so I was hyper-vigilant to make sure everything was taken care of in our home, in my life, and in the lives of others. I gave up my happiness for his happiness. I continued to stay in an unhealthy, hurtful relationship because I believed I needed him to be fulfilled.
Then I met a counselor that taught me how to see myself in a more positive light. I began to learn about Shirley and who I am, like myself, find out what I wanted and needed in life, trust my intuitions, take care of myself, let go of perfectionism, ultimately become emotionally healthy. I learned tools to get to a different, positive place in my life.
Eventually, I realized there are many women and men who are in similar tangled places in life. At 55 I went to graduate school to prepare myself to become a professional counselor. I now share with others how to “Untangle” their lives and be empowered to move in a positive direction.
My self-esteem was very low. I found I trusted him more than myself, resulting in me feeling anxious most of the time. I believed I had to be the one to hold our marriage and our family together. I thought I was responsible for the happiness of each person in my life. I worked hard to be “nice” but inside I was dying and angry at everyone and everything. I couldn’t let myself feel because I would crumble under the weight of how bad I felt. My life seemed out of control, so I was hyper-vigilant to make sure everything was taken care of in our home, in my life, and in the lives of others. I gave up my happiness for his happiness. I continued to stay in an unhealthy, hurtful relationship because I believed I needed him to be fulfilled.
Then I met a counselor that taught me how to see myself in a more positive light. I began to learn about Shirley and who I am, like myself, find out what I wanted and needed in life, trust my intuitions, take care of myself, let go of perfectionism, ultimately become emotionally healthy. I learned tools to get to a different, positive place in my life.
Eventually, I realized there are many women and men who are in similar tangled places in life. At 55 I went to graduate school to prepare myself to become a professional counselor. I now share with others how to “Untangle” their lives and be empowered to move in a positive direction.
The Tulip
The tulip has significant meaning to me. During a particularly difficult time I was given a divine message I want to share with you.
I was at a very low place in my life when it appeared all of my dreams for life were being shattered. I was driving to a counseling appointment one autumn day when the leaves were at their peak of color and I was thoroughly enjoying the beauty. It was as if a voice began to speak to me. “Shirley, you are entering a time in your life when, like the leaves which will soon fall from the trees, there will be many things fall away in your life. After autumn, comes winter and things die or some just appear to die away. That will be true in your life as well. But, I want you to trust me because only the things that need to die, will die. I promise springtime will come after winter and tulips begin to spring up from the ground. What I want you to know about the tulip is when the first thaw comes, the tulip starts to show above the ground. There will be more freezing, which will slow down the growth. It will warm up again and the tulip will come further out of the ground. That process will happen several times. Then one day the tulip will come into full bloom and will stand tall and robust. The reason for the growth and waiting is to enable the tulip to have a strong stem allowing it to endure the wind and the rains and still stand tall and hardy. Shirley, you will go through the autumn and winter at this time in your life and finish as the tulip with the resilient stem and the beautiful blossom that went through the slow growth process.”
This became the hope I needed to get through that difficult time in my life and tolerate the slow growth process. It also was the picture which kept me pursuing unfulfilled dreams. Helping individuals and couples untangle their lives is the fulfillment of one of those dreams.
I was at a very low place in my life when it appeared all of my dreams for life were being shattered. I was driving to a counseling appointment one autumn day when the leaves were at their peak of color and I was thoroughly enjoying the beauty. It was as if a voice began to speak to me. “Shirley, you are entering a time in your life when, like the leaves which will soon fall from the trees, there will be many things fall away in your life. After autumn, comes winter and things die or some just appear to die away. That will be true in your life as well. But, I want you to trust me because only the things that need to die, will die. I promise springtime will come after winter and tulips begin to spring up from the ground. What I want you to know about the tulip is when the first thaw comes, the tulip starts to show above the ground. There will be more freezing, which will slow down the growth. It will warm up again and the tulip will come further out of the ground. That process will happen several times. Then one day the tulip will come into full bloom and will stand tall and robust. The reason for the growth and waiting is to enable the tulip to have a strong stem allowing it to endure the wind and the rains and still stand tall and hardy. Shirley, you will go through the autumn and winter at this time in your life and finish as the tulip with the resilient stem and the beautiful blossom that went through the slow growth process.”
This became the hope I needed to get through that difficult time in my life and tolerate the slow growth process. It also was the picture which kept me pursuing unfulfilled dreams. Helping individuals and couples untangle their lives is the fulfillment of one of those dreams.
See Shirley live on video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NFYHYQ2tQ-Y
For more information or to schedule an appointment with Shirley, please contact her here.
For more information or to schedule an appointment with Shirley, please contact her here.